21.

 Question: "How to kill an ant?"
Asked in an exam for 10 marks!
Student:
Mix chilli powder with sugar,
&
Keep it outside the ant's hole
After eating,
ant will search for some water near a water tank.
Push ant in to it!
Now ant will go to dry itself near fire,
When it reaches fire, put a bomb into d fire!
Then admit wounded ant in icu!
And then
remove oxygen mask from it's mouth and kill the ant :-|

20.

Santa has to sell his dog. Banta wants to buy it.

Banta: Is this dog faithful ?

Santa: Yes, I have sold it 3 times earlier also. It is so faithful, everytime it returned back to me.

19.

Wife comes home late at night
and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.

From under the blanket
she sees four legs instead of two!

She reaches for a baseball bat
and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.

Once she's done,
she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.

As she enters,
she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. :s

"hi darling", he says,
"your parents have come to visit us,
so I let them stay in our bedroom.
Hope you have said hello to them.

18.

Hitler says,
"There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary"

Sardar says:Ab bolne se kiya fayidah?

"Jub kharidi thi tab hi check karna tha na":D

18.

Santa asks Priest: Why did god make women so beautiful?

Priest: So that you will love them.

Santa thinks for a short time...

Santa: But why did God make them so dumb?

Priest: So that they will love you.

17.

A Scotsman who was driving home one night, ran into a car driven by an Englishman. The Scotsman got out of the car to apologize and offered the Englishman a drink from a bottle of whisky. The Englishman was glad to have a drink.
"Go on," said the Scot, "have another drink."
The Englishman drank gratefully. "But don't you want one, too?" he asked the Scotsman.
"Perhaps," replied the Scotsman, "after the police have gone."

16.

 Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog.

For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs.


For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The dog was still able to walk with only two legs.

For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk. However, the dog wasn't able to walk with only one leg.

As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after having three legs cut off.

15.

 Once husband and wife had fight. And they are not talking to each other.


Husband left one note in his table. Besides we had a fight. Woke me up at 5.

Next day husband woke up at 8.
And note was there on the table.

Wake up it is 5 O clock.

14.

Husband to wife: I invited my friend for lunch.

Wife: What the whole home is in mesh.

Husband: I wanted to show him all this. because he wanted to marry.

13.

Husband to wife: Will you re marry. If i die.

Wife: I will live with my sister.

Wife to husband: Will you re marry. If i die.

Husband: I will live with your sister.

12.

Husband 1: What makes you join army.

Guy 1 2: I loved army and war and had no wife. What about you.

Husband 2: Well i have wife. And i wanted peace. So, i joined Army.

11.

Husband sent a text to his wife at night,
"Hi I will get late, please try and wash all my dirty clothes
and make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return."

He sent another text,
"And I forgot to tell you that I got an increase in my salary
at the end of the month I'm getting you a new car"

She text back, "OMG really?"

Husband replied,
"No I just wanted to make sure you got my first message".

10. Beautiful Joke

 Question: "How to kill an ant?"

ant

Asked in an exam for 10 marks!
Student:
Mix chilli powder with sugar,
&
Keep it outside the ant's hole
After eating,
ant will search for some water near a water tank.
Push ant in to it!
Now ant will go to dry itself near fire,
When it reaches fire, put a bomb into d fire!
Then admit wounded ant in icu!
And then
remove oxygen mask from it's mouth and kill the ant :-|

.9

Santa has to sell his dog. Banta wants to buy it.

Banta: Is this dog faithful ?

Santa: Yes, I have sold it 3 times earlier also. It is so faithful, everytime it returned back to me.

8.

A blond went to police station and registered a complaint

Blond - Sir I am getting Threats on my phone.

Police: Who the hell is threating you?, tell me we will take action against them.

Blond : Sir telephone people... They are threating to cut if the bill is not paid.

7.

Husband: can u be the moon of my life?

Wife: Awww Yes sweetheart..!
.
.
.
.
.
Husband: Great! then….
Stay 9,955,887.6 kms away from Me..!!!

6.

A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans"..

"My father grows beans," said one student.


"My father cooks beans," said another.



Then a Little Santa spoke up: "We are all human beans."

5.

Manager asked to santa at an interview
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Santa replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.

4.

A: Why are all those people running?

B: They are running a race to get a cup.

A: Who will get the cup?

B: The person who wins.

A: Then why are all the others running?

3.

Teacher: Shamu, go to the map and find North    America.

Shamu: Here it is!

Teacher: Correct. Now, Ramu, who discovered America?

Ramu: Shamu!